Category Archives: Music

StreetLights On A Saturday Night: For Dad

I wrote this post below on March 4, 2019, not long after I had a heart attack and received 2 stents. I got a third a few months later. Now, as I write this update to the story, my father is in the hospital in Carson City. He and his wife live in Reno, but they chose the Carson hospital because they thought they would receive greater care for his heart issue. My dad is currently in his procedure now; Angiogram to see what is happening. I found it remarkable when Debby (my father’s wife) told me the Doc who is performing the procedure used to actually play backup guitar for Bob Seger. Well, there you have it. God’s grace through healing hands and, well, Rock-n-Roll!

My father, Lloyd and my son, Jacob during a family trip in 2011.

I am praying for good news. In the mean time, I am sharing this post again for Pop. He too, is tired and worn, but still running against the wind...

The Longest Trip.

Lord, I’m tired. I wonder, Lord, if you might give me shelter from the storm. The wind is blowing and I’m getting older. The wind is blowing and I am still running against it, as I have always done. But I’m tired and worn. I need some help. I need some hope. I just can’t shake this and I have lost a step or two…

Lately, I have been struggling. I have been questioning. I have been confused. There are days, more lately, where I find myself trying to reconcile God’s will with my own. I feel like I can’t find that balance. There is this nagging fear that I am failing, going nowhere, no matter how hard I try. There have been too many days where I forgot what it feels like, to feel good. Sometimes it feels like pushing on the ocean. Buts its just running against the wind, and I am not failing. And, I am not forsaken.

I haven’t written much lately. I haven’t found my voice again. At least until now. But this has taken me weeks to write. I have been in a bit of a fog, feeling weak, feeling like I have been knocked down and I am still coming to my senses. I feel incredibly mortal, fragile. And, that will pass. But nothing comes easy. There is a cost to everything.

We all struggle. If you look around and think about it, every person you know has struggles. That’s life. We all get knocked down. We all deal with difficult times. We are all still running against the wind. At least now that we’re older, we know we are stronger together. And, we are stronger through God’s grace.

Still, I am struggling.

Sunday, March 4th, 2019

Last night I picked up Steve and Susan from DFW airport. We hit it off before we got out of the terminal area. I am very glad too, because it was a 2 hour trip down just southwest of Waco. They live in McGregor, TX.
I actually took them to the municipal airport where they have a hangar that keeps their 1961 Beechcraft Bonanza. Their car happened to be there as well.

Steve and I swapped flying stories. I have a little flight time in the same make and model as his Bonzana. Stock photo below.

1961 Beechcraft Bonanza

They haven’t lived in Texas very long; less than a year. I asked Steve what brought him to Texas and he answered, Chip and Joanna Gaines. Seriously? I asked. Apparently, they watched the show Fixer Upper and decided Waco seemed like a nice place to live. It definitely has a lower cost of living than their previous home of 30 years, in Seattle.

Originally, they planned a retirement in the Caribbean, spending all their time on a catamaran. But their son was diagnosed with cancer. He is good now. But they say the next 5 years are the greatest risk of it returning. Steve and Susan decided to stay landside in case their son needed help. He lives in Houston.

So they came down and met the Gaineses. Joanna helped them find a house in McGregor. Their house in a Seattle suburb sold for $450 per square foot. Their new home in Texas cost $97 per sq. foot. They doubled the size for less money. Susan said they love being here and wish they had come to Texas 20 years ago.

As we continued to talk about aviation we started getting into the history of both our families. It turns out, Steve’s dad flew F4U-4 Corsairs in WWII. He was based in Guadalcanal, Henderson Field for a bit as well as the carriers, Lexington and Enterprise. While it was a completely different ship and in the 1970’s my father was an air traffic controller on the nuclear version of the Enterprise, CVN65.
Besides the F4U-4 Corsair, Steve’s father also flew Wildcats and Bearcats off the deck of a carrier. My favorite aircraft of all time is the F4U corsair and it just happens to be Steve’s dad’s favorite as well. Especially since he flew them in combat, dogfighting Japanese Zeroes.

F4-U Corsair

Dropping Steve and Susan off at McGregor airport was a real treat. It has been a while since I have been on an airfield. I enjoyed following the taxi lane to his hanger. It definitely brought back some memories.

Dropping them off completed the longest trip thus far in my 2 and a 1/2 years of driving Uber and Lyft. I think it was 123 miles. We had such a great time talking along the way, they offered to take me to dinner in Waco at their favorite burger place called Freddy’s. I had to gracefully decline and get back up to DFW. But it sure was a nice gesture. Steve and Susan, you guys are true kindness Warriors. Correction, Kindness Aviators!

Talking about our experience flying brought back so many memories. Thinking back on those days, I was so confident, so ambitious. I didn’t play by anyone elses rules. I thought I could do anything. But I was always running. I was running to or from something. Heartache, depression, loneliness, who knows exactly. But when I flew, I was at peace. Up there with the deep blue sky and the lofty clouds, I had no fears. My demons were left on the ground below. Up there it was just me and God.

Now, here I am, ragged and worn, still trying to re-engage. Still trying to find that place of grace that seems lost. I am running on fumes with no end in sight. But, I am still running.

Bob Seger was in town Saturday at the Ford Center in Frisco. I think his song, Against the Wind represents it best.

I know I am not alone. We are all struggling. We all keep running against the wind. It’s what we do. Sometimes, it’s all we can do.

#kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #TheKindnessClub #StreetLights #Grace #drivingawaydepression #Peopleprofiles

StreetLights: From The Garage Friday June 26, 2020

From the garage…

Perfect weather as the sun sets here in Arlington, TX. Enjoying a relaxing evening. I do miss the road and the interesting stories from my riders. In the meantime, I have a few people to write about soon and there is this:

As I continue to sort through meaningful songs I always have a habit of going back to certain artists like Neil Young and Bob Dylan.

Neil Young wrote Helpless in 1969. This is one of those songs that really makes me delve deep into its meaning, or at least my interpretation of the song. I began to think of the helpless feeling one might have in isolation due to Covid19. In the song, Young refers to a town in North Ontario. It is pretty isolated up there. As one writer put it, when expressing his interpretation, “when you live in a town like that, you often feel helpless because you are. But there is beauty there like nowhere else. So when you are back to “civilization” you miss it.”

Perhaps it can be used as a feeling of despair that you cannot help, but there is still this image,

“Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,”

Isolation is tough. I got to see some familiar faces tonight that I have seen in months. It was brief but meaningful nonetheless. This song has always been a favorite of mine. I would play it when I felt alone, sitting in my little apartment.

Melancholia.

But here is the thing, the silver lining if you will.

Even in times of sadness, despair, helplessness, there is beauty and grace.

Check in on someone this weekend. Reach out. There are many forms of isolation and many who feel helpless don’t know how to reach out.

Anyway, it is Friday. Have a great weekend everyone!

Be love. Be kind. We are all connected.

Life is better with a soundtrack.

This version of Neil Young’s Helpless by Buffy Sainte-Marie is pow wow werful!

kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #TheKindnessClub #StreetLights #Grace #drivingawaydepression #lifeisbetterwithasoundtrack #weareallconnected

A Horse With No Name

A Horse With No Name.

On the first part of the journey…

We have been sheltering in place, with a few store runs here and there, since March 18th. Like many of you, I was anxious. How would we pay the bills? What will happen with the kids and school? Just how bad will it get? And, for me, I wondered how will this affect my mental health? I am someone who has battled clinical depression all my life. Most of that time, I was not fully aware of my disease. In December of 2017, that changed. Since then, I have been on a journey to reclaim my life and to share my struggle so that it might be a light for others who are lost in the dark fog.

It hasn’t been an easy path. I have learned to control (mostly) my depression and anxiety. I have also learned that even knowing isn’t always a solution, but it certainly is better than being forever lost at sea.  I often refer to my toolbox when talking about depression. By that, I mean the number of ways I control and counter it.  Medicine, therapy, walking, meditating, writing, nature, routines, etc. are all tools in the toolbox. Checklists are also very useful.

So, there we were, on the first day of our shelter-in-place journey. To my surprise, I transitioned quite well. I became less anxious and my mood was generally positive all day long. Time spent with family has been wonderful. We played games, watched some movies together. We have worked in the yard together. The kids lost interest in that activity after day 1, but it was great while it lasted. I think if I push, I can get them back out there. I have also been organizing my garage. Clutter is always bad. Finding a place for everything and creating a few clear surfaces is therapy in and of itself. It is great to get rid of things you don’t need. So long, extra set of washing machine hoses. Good riddance, box of old cables and wires. I found one bag that was filled with more bags. I am pretty sure it has been tucked away in a drawer since 1997.

The first few weeks of shelter-in-place was like stepping from a surreal environment that went by so fast, most of it was blurry, to a much more real, vivid life of color and beauty, I was off the hamster wheel and free to look around; free to enjoy the simpler things in life.

I was looking at all the life

There were plants and birds and rocks and things

I was all of the sudden on a whole new path. I was on a respite from the grind and I was noticing all the wonder around me.  The grass became greener. The sun and sky felt like battery chargers for my soul. I was now traveling along a path devoid of stress and anxiety; a path with far less distractions. I got away from all the chaos and the noise. But I had no idea where this path would lead me. As the song says,

I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain

In the desert you can remember your name

‘Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain

New routines began to form. Some good, some bad. But I wasn’t really paying attention. I was living in the moment and happy. So, I was complacent and unaware. Last week, I began to slide. Unknowingly, my demons were catching up to me. Life started getting foggy. I have been so tired and achy these last few days. I have started losing interest in all of the wonderful elements of life. This morning I woke up feeling like I needed to go right back to bed. I scrolled Facebook for a few moments with no real interest. I looked outside and didn’t see my new little realm, but instead, I saw heat and discomfort and unbearable brightness. I didn’t have much to say to anyone and after forcing myself to take care of a couple of “to do’s,” I found my way back to bed. It seems depression had found me again.

After two days in the desert sun

My skin began to turn red

After three days in the desert fun

I was looking at a river bed

And the story it told of a river that flowed

Made me sad to think it was dead

You see I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain

In the desert you can remember your name

‘Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain

The difference between now and two years ago is, I caught it. Something actually triggered in me yesterday when I was in the car with Mindy and the girls. This song came on and got me reflecting a bit. It took me until late today to really catch it, but catch it I did! There are many times when I am “melancholy” but aware. This is now one of those times. I can’t really change the way I feel, but now I can utilize those tools I was talking about to keep this low from turning into something more powerful and destructive. Until my brain stops forcing me to sorrow, I will ride it out. I will stay the course and slowly my path will become clear again. The fog will lift and I will sense the wonder of life again.

We still don’t know what is next with this Covid 19 business. I still don’t know where this new path is taking me, still no name for this horse. But I do know everything will be alright.

After nine days I let the horse run free

‘Cause the desert had turned to sea

There were plants and birds and rocks and things

there was sand and hills and rings

The ocean is a desert with it’s life underground

And a perfect disguise above

Under the cities lies a heart made of ground

But the humans will give no love

You see I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain

In the desert you can remember your name

‘Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain

Where are you on your journey? Are you in the desert or in the rain? Mental health is tricky. Depression and anxiety are insidious. Covid19 has shaken the rhythm of all our lives. Here are a few tools to give yourself a mental checkup and boost.

Take a moment and rate your emotional state. Think about how you feel and how you have felt recently. Make yourself aware. If you are feeling low or foggy, change your routine, use a daily checklist, and find a way to talk about it. The buddy system works! Anyone who might struggle with depression should have someone, friend, family member, therapist, doctor to communicate with every week. Taking inventory and talking about how you feel on a regular basis helps empower you to become aware of and control the destructive forces of depression.

3 most powerful anti-depressant activities:

GET UP!

GET OUT!

GO SPREAD KINDNESS!

Be safe, my friends. Be love. Be kind.

StreetLights On A Saturday Night: Love In The Time Of Covid-19

Love in the time of Covid-19

We have all become familiar with some new terms like shelter-in-place and social distancing. More than that, we are all adjusting to a very different world. There have been moments that feel as if each of us are on our own little space station floating around the earth. My station has artificial gravity, a fridge full of food, comfy bed, and a ton of movies, so it isn’t too bad. I also get to share this space station with my wife and three out of my four kids. I wish the 4th was here too but he is on his own space station. Every once in a while, we venture out in our trusty spacecraft to a large star base to resupply. My mother’s little space station where she is on her own is close by and since she is practicing the same isolation protocols as we are, we can still travel to and from her place.

Meanwhile, back on planet Earth, there is much suffering and much danger. But there is also something good. There is much love. Love is strong. Love is powerful. And, love is everywhere in this time of Covid-19. As we first began to hear news of this virus and when the first cases were reported here in the United States, my initial reaction was anger. That anger consumed me. I am a news junkie anyway, but with this virus, I opened up the information valve all the way. This just intensified my outrage. And, for good reason. However, as I observe others, as I see posts online, and as I feel it here in my home, my little space station, I have become overwhelmed with love.  I see the love we share with others in a time such as this. I see selfless acts of love from every doctor, nurse, EMT, grocery store worker, restaurant employee, and so many other people who continue to work hard making sure we still function as a society and we still take care of people in need.  It is times like this when heroes shall rise.  And they have!

I haven’t driven in almost three weeks. It just became too dangerous. I miss the personal connections I make with passengers. Driving Uber and Lyft has always been a method of restoring my withered faith in humanity. I am finding new ways to appreciate and renew that faith. In a world of darkness, I see a million points of light. I see people helping people. I see the incredible love and kindness that IS humanity at its finest. And, that give me hope.

We recently lost a bright light, Bill Withers. But really, his light will keep shining for all of us in his music.

Excerpt from New York Times:

“At 17, eager to avoid a coal-mine career himself, Mr. Withers joined the Navy. “My first goal was, I didn’t want to be a cook or a steward,” he told Rolling Stone. “So, I went to aircraft-mechanic school.” He spent nine years in the service, some of it stationed in Guam. He quit the Navy in 1965, while stationed in California, and eventually got a job at an airplane parts factory. A visit to a nightclub to see Lou Rawls perform was a catalyst for changing his life. “I was making $3 an hour, looking for friendly women, but nobody found me interesting,” he said. “Then Rawls walked in, and all these women are talking to him.”

He bought a cheap guitar at a pawnshop, started learning to play it and writing songs, and eventually recorded a demo. Clarence Avant, a music executive who had just founded an independent label, Sussex, took note and set him up with the keyboardist Booker T. Jones, of Booker T. & the MG’s, to produce an album.

“Bill came right from the factory and showed up in his old brogans and his old clunk of a car with a notebook full of songs,” Mr. Jones told Rolling Stone. “When he saw everyone in the studio, he asked to speak to me privately and said, ‘Booker, who is going to sing these songs?’ I said, ‘You are, Bill.’ He was expecting some other vocalist to show up.”

Mr. Withers was laid off from his factory job a few months before “Just as I Am” came out. After the album’s release, he recalled, he received two letters on the same day. One was from his workplace asking him to return to work. The other was from “The Tonight Show,” where he appeared in November 1971.”  NYT April 3, 2020.

What an amazing story! Bill Withers, with no music background, bought a guitar and started writing and playing music in his 30s. “It was just something I decided to do,” he said. He was inducted into the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame by Stevie Wonder in 2015.undefined

For the record, “Ain’t No Sunshine” which garnered Withers his first Grammy was the B-side to “Harlem.”

We are going to get through this time of Covid-19. We are going to keep the fire bright. We are all connected!

So, for this edition of StreetLights On A Saturday Night, I leave you with a little love from Bill Withers. I truly hope it has been a lovely day, friends.

Life is better with a soundtrack!

Be safe. Be love. Be kind.

#kindness #purposefulkindness #hope #peace #love #joy #StreetLights #Whatawonderfulworld #StreetLightsonasaturdaynight #TheKindnessClub #grace #Weareallconnected #Lifeisbetterwithasoundtrack

streetlights on a Saturday night 2 of 3 April 1st, 2020

StreetLights on a Saturday night

Part 2 of 3
Last Ride


Occurred March 25th, 2018

It was late Saturday night, after midnight. Okay, early Sunday morning!

I am exhausted. My whole week went sideways. It seems to do that often. I haven’t slept well in days. My restless legs have kept me up. It’s a nice bonus every time I get one of those steroid injections in my neck for a collapsed disc. My goals for the week were on the horizon but now have completely vanished. A few more rides like the last one and I am just done.

It is day 110 of recovery from depression rock bottom back in early December. I have managed to keep clear of the fog, for the most part. That nasty shadow has been chasing me, but hasn’t been able to catch me. I have been keeping it under control.

I am so tired. No way to hit that bonus. I think it may be time to head home. I will start again in the morning. Means, I miss church again but, need to work.

I was on highway 114 coming back from the west and looking to make the highway 121 exchange to head home.

The Lyft app began chirping with a request. Wow, its 17 minutes away. I accepted it. It turns out it was coming from the airport. I guess there is a real shortage of drivers in the queue at the airport. It isn’t common to get an airport pickup 17 minutes away. So, I headed in. I didn’t get far before the rider cancelled. I guess he didn’t like the wait time.

Well, I am headed toward the airport anyway. I will take just one more rider. I will make this one count and then head home to try again tomorrow. Just one more trip. Just then, the app started chirping again, 11 minutes away this time. I accepted it. Wow, another airport request. Bet they cancel. But I am going that way.

This request wasn’t canceled. It was a pickup at DFW Airport Terminal A. Really late for activity there. I was exhausted and feeling beat down. I could feel that shadow starting to move around me. I was feeling sorry for myself and I was feeling like a failure, my mind was getting dark. But I am going to get this one last rider home.
As I approached the Terminal I saw my passenger, looking at me. Man, this guy looked worse than I feel. You could tell he was running on empty just by watching him move as I pulled up.

Just this last ride. Just one more ride and I will head home. I feel like I haven’t seen or spent time with my family in weeks. I have missed church and my friends there. Now I am going to miss everyone again. I will GET UP and keep fighting again tomorrow, I guess. Starting to wonder what the point is. I am so tired. Just one more ride tonight. Just one more Saturday night drive. Ok, time to put on a smile and get this guy home. Clearly he needs to get there. Got to keep movin’. Got to keep fighting. Else, who am I?

Hello James. Welcome back to DFW. Let’s see where we are headed…

#kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #StreetLights #TheKindnessClub #Grace #drivingawaydepression #Peopleprofiles #weareallconnected #lifeisbetterwithasoundtrack


streetlights on a Saturday night 3 of 3, April 1st, 2020

StreetLights on a Saturday night
Part 3 of 3
Silver Linings

Occurred March 25, 2018

In the struggle of life, especially those long stretches of time when we try to change, to improve, there is a strong counteracting force. It will knock you down, kick you, and steal your lunch money! You get the idea. Change is hard. When we attempt it, we often fail, and then fail again.

There are often times of sorrow or sadness. We are emotional, loving beings. When we are away from our loved ones it takes an emotional toll. When we lose someone, it takes a toll. When we become sick, it takes a toll.

When we must isolate ourselves at home, it takes a toll.

Something I know to be true, God is active in our lives. God puts people in our lives when we need them. God won’t give us more than we can handle. And, God has a purpose for each of us.

Last Saturday I was run down. Last Saturday I was feeling depressed. I was driving late, and I was exhausted. I picked up James from the airport and took him home to his house in Frisco. James seemed to fall into the car feeling exhausted himself. We got through the introductions and started the trip. I asked him if he had been traveling all day and he smiled and said he had a horrible trip. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. He said he desperately just wanted to make it home with no more issues, problems, or delays.

“I’ve got you covered!” I said. “Now tell me what happened on this horrible trip.” So James began telling this remarkable story of bad hotel rooms, broken rental cars, setbacks at work, and crazy flight delays. When he was done, I told him we needed to get him home as fast as we can so he can get out of my car and take that bad mojo with him! He laughed, but said the odds were against us. He was tired of travel and sad because he missed his family. I could certainly relate to that.

“James, your story alone is hilarious. Yes, it was all troubling and difficult to endure, but that was one of the worst travel experiences I have listened to, which makes it funny! And here you are on the final leg of your journey home. I will get us there!”

James asked me how my week went. I told him, not so well and explained all the things that went wrong with my week. After each of us had a chance to tell our stories to each other we both began to look for the silver lining, and we found it!

James ended up closer to his headquarters as a result of an issue with his first hotel room in Denver. He got upgraded when his rental car broke down. He could have been on the flight when the raft was triggered. It could have happened in the air. As far as his phone goes, well, stuff happens. But how cool was it that the trunk was triggered, sending his coffee mug right to him. That must have been quite a site. I told James I thought he now has a great story to tell his family in the morning to make them all laugh.

My week wasn’t the worst. Sure, I was tired. But I had so many wonderful interactions with people. I picked up some job leads and received help from numerous friends. James asked me what was most important in my life. I told him, my family. He said forget driving in the morning and get to church. He was right! I needed to be with my family. And I needed to recharge spiritually.

Sometimes, we need help gaining the right perspective on things. God is active in our lives. Meeting James was God’s doing. James was his messenger. And I was God’s messenger and delivery service for James. I delivered him to his doorstep at 1:58 AM. No issues or problems occurred.

Two weary travelers offering each other kind words and an ear. Just what each of us needed at the time. And our journey continues…

April 1st, 2020

Easter is almost upon us. I can’t think of a better time to use kind words and to listen. In doing so, we can alter the trajectory of someone’s life, in a very good way!

We can do even do this from home.

We are all connected.

Be safe. Be love. Be kind.

#Kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #StreetLights #TheKindnessClub #Grace #weareallconnected



StreetLights On A Saturday Night

Lost in the woods

I took a walk today. The sun was out. Blue sky, pillowy clouds and blossoms on the trees. I love trees. I always find them calming and restorative, like natural anti-anxiety medicine.

It was during this walk I found the right perspective again. I have been angry this week. I have been anxious. I have been frustrated with the world. I have been caught up in the injustices of the world. My friend Tom and I will sometimes go round and round arguing about politics and religion. We had a contentious debate this week. And, I see many others frustrated as well. It can be tough to find peace of mind.


But those trees and the warm breeze, and the pillowy clouds, it all reminded me that this life is a blessing. I am reminded that I “get to” argue with my friend and I get to take that walk, and I get to write this post, and I get feel love, joy, and happiness. Consider all the things you have to do. Everything. Then simply change the words “have to” to “get to.”

Oh, I know we are not done fighting. All of us, not just me and Tom. 😉 We have fierce convictions and ideas about life. But we are all connected. We all share the same blood. So don’t forget to make peace too.

It is all too easy to get lost in the woods at times of anger or sorrow, or lonliness, or exhaustion, or good old high anxiety. I met a man today who gave up all his social media accounts because it was actually affecting his marriage and his relationship with his kids. He said it was the best he felt in months.

Our world is so much more connected now. Everything is instant, including access. My children are growing up in a world where social media and constant content are overwhelming. I have heard ignorance is bliss. That applies very well to social media. And kids today get pulled into that digital world of instant everything. We have more people, especially young people with anxiety and depression than ever before.

From time to time, finding a way to disconnect is essential for your mental health. Same for your kids. Especially for the young ones. They can’t figure out who they are if they are too overwhelmed with anxiety about what other people think and say about them, on social media.

During this Lent season, try to disconnect. Get your kids to disconnect. Reconnect with each other. Reconnect with God and remember how the burdens of life are still blessings, because we “get to” live.

And when you feel lost in the woods, here is a good reminder,

Trees.

“Getting lost in the woods” is a phrase often associated with dark or troubled times in life.

If you are lost in the woods, take a moment. Take a deep long breath. Then look around you. The trees that surround you are not your enemy or your obstacle.

Look close and you will see, God has put those trees around you. They are there to protect you, to give you sustenance. They help form and define your path. Those trees are life giving and life saving. They offer you love and joy. Those trees are your friends and family, and safe spaces.

If you ever feel lost in the woods, take a breath, look around and know, you are not alone! Trust me, I’m an Oak…

Now, for your Saturday night groove and a little message within lyrics, checkout Coldplay’s Arabesque.

“I could be you, you could be me
Two raindrops in the same sea
You could be me, I could be you
Two angles of the same view
And we share the same blood

Comme deux gouttes d’eau
On se ressemble
Comme provenant de la même mère
Comme deux ruisseaux (You could be me)
Qui se rassemblent (I could be you)
Pour faire les grandes rivières


And we share the same blood
Yeah, we share the same bloodAnd we share the same blood
Yeah, we share the same blood

Music is the weapon, music is the weapon of the future
Music is the weapon, music is the weapon of the future
Music is the weapon, music is the weapon of the future.”



#kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #TheKindnessClub #StreetLights #Grace #drivingawaydepression

Streetlights on a Saturday night

Again, we need more kindness and love. Too much hate. The pressure becomes to great. And then, it is just too late.

The darkest place in the universe is deep inside one’s own troubled soul.

For all my bipolar and depressive brothers and sisters. Written in October 2018 with love for those we lost. I needed a firmer grasp on my own sense of purpose and value before posting.

Streaming streaming here I go.
Head on pillow. Heart beats flow.

Streaming streaming getting faster now.
So many voices. So many faces.
So many directions. So many races.

I can keep up
I can hold on.
I just need to make the dawn.

Da da da…. Hill street Blues. What the hell?

Strange and intriguing like a distant bell.

They killed her.
I read the news today, oh boy.
She just couldn’t hold the joy.

In darkness.
Hung herself next to Mr. Clean
She just couldn’t escape the dream.

She was smart you know. She helped others heal. She helped others grow.

Woman Unleashed.

She wrote a book.
She helped little girls. She helped them find the power, someone else took.

She helped the pooches too. She wrote. She shrank. She soared, But she too got too blue.

Streaming flowing flying now. Is this how Robin felt? Is this what he knew? That its all way too fast. It’s too hard to keep up.
It’s so hard to hold on. Too hard to fill his cup.
And like poor Stacey, he fell off. He just gave up.

Faster and faster and faster we go. Money stress. Job stress. Where did the peace and joy go?

Hill street blues. What the hell? This earworm!

Ball of confusion. Big beautiful ball.
The winners and fast ones, they’ve destroyed it all. Piece by piece it all falls away in the acceleration of our daily fray.

Hill street blues? Why?

Streaming streaming head to pillow. I hear the beat. What is that? The neighbor? No its my heart and my mind. It just wont slow down.
Thoughts now, flying right by. Which one was it? Which one do I decry.

Think now. Think now. Life. Love. Yes, love! Struggle! People! That car! Yes, my car! My office. My space. My realm. My world. The people! Oh yes, the people. Who was it today? Luke, Frank, Michelle, or Steven. What the hell rhymes with Steven?
It doesn’t matter. They all showed up. And they brought my saving grace.

Through each, each of those strange angels, He told me.

Kindness is it. Kindness saves. Could it have saved Anthony? Could it have saved Kate? Or Robin, or Stacey? Will it save me? Its always kindness. Kindness breaks the waves.
Kindness kills the bug. Kindness slows the pace. Why do we hate? We are all in this human race?

Slowing down now. Fatigue setting in.
Shutting it down now. Pulling the pin. Took the pill. Beginning to chill.

What now head? What now heart?

Accept the grace and do my part.

But tomorrow.

Did I get that right?
Is this who I am?
Is this why I still drive?
Is this a blessing or a blight?
Or merely Streetlights on a Saturday night?

Sleep setting in. Finally peace. Manic no more.

Hiil street blues.
Ohhhhh.

Its cold and lonely in the dark.

“Lets all be safe out there.”

And all do our part…

To be kind.

Depression and bipolar disorder aren’t just states of mind. But they certainly screw with it. Suicide takes 45,000 people a year in the US. It doesn’t have to.
Each of us can save lives by simple acts of kindness, by reaching out, by acting on a concern or gut feeling. By accepting each other with love. In the darkness, in the fog, many don’t know how to call for help.
We ALL need to do better by each other.

We are all connected.

Peace be with you, my brothers and sisters.

As I began my journey to clarity and light, one song became, and remains my mantra.

Thanks be to God.

#kindness #purposefulkindness #hope #peace #love #joy #StreetLights #TheKindnessClub #Grace #drivingawaydepression #Peopleprofiles #weareallconnected #Whatawonderfulworld


Stacey Radin was a clinical psychologist in New York who battled depression and lost that battle last October.

Anthony Bourdain was a chef, food critic, social activist, author, and travel documentarian who starred in programs focusing on the exploration of international culture, cuisine, and the human condition.

Kate Spade (Katherine Noel Valentine Brosnahan) was an American fashion designer and businesswoman. She was the founder and former co-owner of the designer brand Kate Spade New York.

Andy Spade released this statement shorlty after his wife, Kate’s death, “Kate suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. She was actively seeking help and working closely with doctors to treat her disease, one that takes far too many lives. We were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy. There was no indication and no warning that she would do this. It was a complete shock. And it clearly wasn’t her. There were personal demons she was battling.”

Robin Williams was a comedian, actor, and all around great guy who struggled with depression and anxiety.

Widow of Robin Williams places his suicide in context
Publish date: October 11, 2016
By Dr. Dinah Miller

“When actor Robin Williams died of suicide in August 2014, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline saw a surge in callers. The loss of a brilliant, energetic, public figure left everyone reeling, myself included. Williams was known to have difficulties with alcohol and depression, but despite his problems, he was everyone’s definition of success, and he certainly had access to the best of care. Stigma? I’m going to guess that in the California entertainment industry there’s no shame to seeing a psychiatrist.

Soon after his death, it was made public that Robin Williams suffered from Parkinson’s disease, then later that was revised – he had Lewy body dementia.

On Sept. 27, his widow, Susan Schneider Williams, published an article called “The terrorist inside my husband’s brain” in the journal Neurology.

Mrs. Williams writes about the joy of their relationship, and she notes that many months before he died, her husband was under the care of doctors for a multitude of symptoms, including gastrointestinal problems, insomnia, and a tremor. His symptoms worsened, and he became plagued by anxiety and panic, memory difficulties, and delusions with paranoia. She describes a change in his personality and a preoccupation with his anxiety, physical failings, and memory problems that interfered with his ability to memorize movie lines. Robin Williams was changing and declining. He was treated with both psychotherapy and psychotropic medications. He went to Stanford for hypnosis to treat his anxiety. He exercised with a physical trainer. In May, he received the Parkinson’s disease diagnosis, and while he was told that it was early and mild, his life was collapsing in on itself.

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…

StreetLights On A Saturday Night original post January 29th, 2019. I am asking unanimous consent to revise and extend my remarks based on the experiences of the last year.

A few days after posting this last year, I had a heart attack. It was mild and I received two stents. However, last year’s health challenges didn’t end there. I ended up hospitalized 6 times last year for a variety of issues including the myocardial infarction, septicemia, other infections, a third stent, and neck surgery to finish out the year. I also continued to battle depression. All this to say the journey continues and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It’s cliche’ but true. Would it surprise you to know my faith in God, my connection to Jesus is even stronger?

This Sunday at Broadway Baptist Church, our Sr. Pastor, Ryon Price will be giving a sermon entitled, “What Are You Looking For?” As Pastor Ryon writes, “that is the title of the sermon but also the words Jesus asks to the first disciples to follow him. Oh, but the irony. The one who is asking the question is Himself its answer. He is what and who they are looking for, though they do not yet know it. All they know now is that they are looking for something, and they still haven’t found it, but they’ve been told by John to look the way of Jesus.
 
Sunday’s sermon will be about Jesus. It will be about our search and our longing for him. It will be about how, in Augustine’s words, “our hearts are restless until they find rest in [Him].”
 
I ask that you pray for Sunday. Somebody will surely show up looking for something, though they may know not what or who. Pray for me. Pray for them. Pray I can be like John the Baptist in the story and point them the way to the one who both has us asking and also is the answer.”

I would like to invite everyone to join us this Sunday at Broadway Baptist Church in Fort Worth. We are all on this journey together. Don’t worry about the Baptist part of Broadway Baptist Church. You don’t have to be Baptist to join us and find other seekers/searchers. Come get a spiritual recharge!

http://broadwaybc.org/
305 W. Broadway, Fort Worth, Texas 76104
Service begins at 1050am. Come early and join a Sunday School group at 925am

Now for the original post. Learning of this weekend’s (January 19, 2020 at 1050am) sermon reminded me of it…

A very significant milestone quietly passed by unnoticed over the weekend. When I realized it, I reviewed my recent trips to find out, Saturday night I gave Uber/Lyft ride number 5,000.

It turns out, that 5,000th ride was given to a woman name Lauren from Chicago. She has been living in Dallas for 6 months. She was just getting back from the frigid windy city. We talked about the differences between the two cities. We talked about Chicago style pizza. We talked about movies, careers, and we talked about a shared passion for music. Perfect strangers, but connected in this grand journey of life, of humanity.
We talked about kindness. We lamented the shortfall. And, we both pledged to keep making more.

This unexpected and awe inspiring path of 2 and a half years, 150,000 miles, and 5,000 rides has changed my outlook on life, on faith, profoundly. I am forever grateful. God has certainly continued to remind me of the importance of this path, and given me the grace to survive the struggles along the way.

Even with a profound sense of purpose, I wonder, I ache, I question. Even with this incredible sense of joy and peace, I hurt, I cry. Even with God’s steady hand, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

But I now know, that is an eternal search. And, that is how it is supposed to be.
To question, to challenge, to become more enlightened, all throughout the universe. We will forever be connected. We must, therefore live our lives in purposeful kindness, and love.

Music has been a steadfast companion all my life. I am fond of saying life is better with a soundtrack. But, music is so much more. It tells our stories. It gives us perspective. It stirs the adventure and curiosity in us all.

Bruce Springsteen introduced U2 into the Rocknroll Hall of Fame in 2005. Two musical entities that have done just that; stir emotion, curiosity, and tell our story so well.

Bono, at one the 25th Anniversary Rock&Roll Hall Of Fame concerts, said this…

“I’m thinking here in Rock&Roll’s great cathedral, that is Madison Square Garden, thinking in this moment about all the pilgrims, all the pioneers that got us all here. The saints and the heretics, the poets and the punks, that now make up the hall of fame. Its a dangerous thing, this business of building idols. But at least Rock&Roll is not, at its best, about worshiping sacred cows. It’s about the thousands of voices gathered in one great unwashed congregation, like tonight. For alot of us here, Rock&Roll just means one word, liberation; political, sexual, spiritual. Liberation.”

To which Bruce Springsteen replied, “Let’s have some fun with that!”

And they began to sing together.

I like this quote because it isn’t just relevant to musicians. It is all of us. It’s life’s journey.

Plus, U2 and The Boss together is frickin awesome!

As I prepare for whatever God has planned next for me, this song reminds me that we are all searching. Perhaps, I’ll take a drive down Thunder Road, and see what lies ahead.

Where will you go? What will you look for?

Will you be kind along your journey?

I hope so.

https://youtu.be/XJo6lN6cNm0

#kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #StreetLights #TheKindnessClub #Grace

#TBT January 16, 2020

#TBT January 16, 2020

It’s floodin’ down in Texas.

I wish I could send this water to Australia. Truly, I do.

As I headed down to the Mitsubishi dealership bright and early this morning (Still trying to make sure everything is roadworthy as I resume my driving today), Bob Dylan popped up in my Spotify playlist. Believe it or not, as I sloshed through the high waters on Bowen road in Arlington, the song High Water came on.
As I listened intently for some further mystic message, because I was really paying attention now, I heard ol’ Bob make reference to Kansas City, 12th and Vine. Hmmm, that sounded familiar.

Sure enough, that corner was made famous from that song about goin’ to Kansas City.

I’m gonna be standing on the corner
12th Street and Vine
With my Kansas City b?aby
And a bottle of Kansas City wine.”

Ok, that song, ‘Kansas City’ was written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller two 19-year-old students in Los Angeles who had never been to Kansas City. So, maybe that isn’t the message I was looking for. Back to Dylan’s High Water. Dylan wrote this song as an ode to Charley Patton.

Ok, now we are getting somewhere! 

So who was Charley Patton and what might he be echoing to us today?

“Charley Patton was arguably the most influential pioneer of the Delta Blues genre. Charley was born in the late 1800s. One site says 1891 but there is no official birth record. Charley Patton has been called the Founder of the Delta Blues. He was born between Bolton and Edwards, Mississippi. Patton was of mixed black, white and native American ancestry. In the early 1900s his family moved to the Dockery plantation. Patton’s travels took him from Louisiana to New York, but he spent most of his time moving from plantation to plantation, entertaining fieldhands at jukehouse dances and country stores. The emotional sway he held over his audiences caused him to be tossed off of more than one plantation, because workers would leave crops unattended to listen to him play.”Although Patton was roughly five feet, five inches tall and only weighed 135 pounds, his gravelly, high-energy singing style made him sound like a man twice his size. An accomplished and inventive guitarist and lyricist, he was a flamboyant showman as well, spinning his guitar, playing it behind his head and slapping it for rhythmic effect.

He also preached in local churches, played for the deacons of New Jerusalem M.B. Church here and recorded religious songs, folk ballads, dance tunes, and pop songs.High Water Everywhere,” a dramatic two-part account of the death and despair wrought by the great 1927 flood, is often regarded as his masterpiece.

His songs offered social commentary and provided propulsive music for dancing. Patton sometimes employed multiple spoken voices to create his own cast of characters. While he was an inspiration to many musicians, including Howlin’ Wolf, Robert Johnson, Tommy Johnson, Willie Brown, Roebuck “Pops” Staples, Bukka White, Honeyboy Edwards, and even Bob Dylan, the individualistic quality of his singing and playing was so inimitable that relatively few blues artists ever attempted to record Patton songs. Patton’s last wife, Bertha Lee, lived with him in Holly Ridge and recorded with him at his final session in New York for Vocalion Records in 1934. Patton died of mitral valve disorder at the age of 43.When he died, he was buried in an unmarked grave. John Fogerty later had a memorial erected to correct the slight.

So here is today’s message, brought to you by Charley Patton…

And who better to deliver the message we need to hear than a man of God, of mixed race, and a man who sings the blues. We are on the precipice. No need to worry about falling because the flood is rising to us. The one thing I know about the blues is this, it is all about what ain’t right in the world and it is usually followed by change, big change. That flood is coming. Here is what each of us must contemplate on this rainy day:

When the flood comes and changes everything, will you adapt and change with it? Or will you cling to the ledge of old, tired idealogy that continues to split us all apart. It is time everyone started realizing,

WE ARE ALL CONNECTED!

The flood is coming, but it doesn’t mean the end. It means it is time to change the way we think about and treat each other. It is time for compassionate and kind leadership. It is high time for us to not just speak of loving each other, but show that love in our actions, in our daily living, in our religion, in our social media posts, in our language, in our laws, in our choices, our policies, our faith, and in our hearts.

If we heed the message, if we join together as God would have us do, the flood will carry us to that brighter day, together. If we stand apart on the precipice, we will just be washed away.

It’s raining.

The blues are playing.

Kindness is the key.

For more information about Charlie Patton, or the Bob Dylan song that I referenced, below are some links you might enjoy.

Charley Patton’s Grave