Sometimes you get knocked down. No matter what you do, things beyond your control can take you down. Last weekend I was knocked down with a medical issue that had me in the hospital for 3 days. I am ok, but have. Had a lingering effect that has limited my physical activity and even kept me from driving some.
Depression doesn’t reveal itself in sorrow. It would not reveal itself at low times. Why would it need to. I was already right where it wanted me to be. No, it was in the halcyonic moments that depression found me. Even now, now that I am aware of it, now that I can control it, it still attempts to damage my calm.
A great way to control depression is to keep moving. That nasty shadow then has to chase you. Spending time in a hospital bed or even my own bed is tough. It means the shadow can catch up and start meddling again.
This is also tough because my health issues are affecting other people. It becomes harder and more stressful for Mindy. Plus at times when I can’t drive, it leaves us in a tough spot financially. It becomes difficult not to take things personally and feel like a burden. I know I am not a burden. But, the situation is still stressful.
I try not to ask for prayers for myself, with so many people out there who are struggling, so many people starving or living in war or terror. But, I sure could use some prayers. Really, not for me so much as for Mindy and the kids. I am working to overcome this recent setback and will hopefully be back to full health soon.
I firmly believe in prayer. I firmly believe God has my back. So, I am telling that shadow to shove it! This too will pass. I am back on the road tonight. I hope to have a productive evening and meet some wonderful people.
A friend and fellow music lyrics explorer recently reminded how powerful this song is. It has long been one of my favorites and I use it for reflection. Reflection is important when trying to figure out how to move forward. What I have learned is, reflection is nowhere near as important as living for today. If you don’t, you won’t be open to God’s plan for you and the true beauty in your life.
I have been blessed with four incredible children. Jake, Katie, Leia, and Ben. I hope I can instill that lesson into their lives and make sure they know one other little bit of wisdom:
When you are confused or in a dark place, music is a powerful beacon of light. God will help you through. And if you ever get lost, call your old man. I will bring you home.
Today is day 9 of recovery for me and today is a good day. Make it count!
This post was originally written in December, 2018. I began sharing my journey through depression and recovery that month. many of my posts were not only to share but my story, but they served as a type of therapy for me.
Good morning on this Wednesday. I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Had a few Christmas miracles myself.
New lesson learned on this 22nd day of recovery from Depression. It’s easy to become focused on restoring yourself to a happier, more whole person you used to be. That is a false path.
The true path forward means leaving behind your old self. The true path forward means learning to live with who you are and finding contentment in the here and now. It means acknowledging those parts of you that echo sadness and finding ways to keep those echos from becoming the dominant forces in your head, knowing they will always be there. But just echos…
If you ever feel overwelmed with sadness and fatigue, you are not alone. There are people who can help you through the fog. I can. God can. Together we can keep moving toward the light until that overwelming, paralyzing force is just an echo.
May all of you have a great day and remember to be kind.