Tag Archives: Music

StreetLights On A Saturday Night: For Dad

I wrote this post below on March 4, 2019, not long after I had a heart attack and received 2 stents. I got a third a few months later. Now, as I write this update to the story, my father is in the hospital in Carson City. He and his wife live in Reno, but they chose the Carson hospital because they thought they would receive greater care for his heart issue. My dad is currently in his procedure now; Angiogram to see what is happening. I found it remarkable when Debby (my father’s wife) told me the Doc who is performing the procedure used to actually play backup guitar for Bob Seger. Well, there you have it. God’s grace through healing hands and, well, Rock-n-Roll!

My father, Lloyd and my son, Jacob during a family trip in 2011.

I am praying for good news. In the mean time, I am sharing this post again for Pop. He too, is tired and worn, but still running against the wind...

The Longest Trip.

Lord, I’m tired. I wonder, Lord, if you might give me shelter from the storm. The wind is blowing and I’m getting older. The wind is blowing and I am still running against it, as I have always done. But I’m tired and worn. I need some help. I need some hope. I just can’t shake this and I have lost a step or two…

Lately, I have been struggling. I have been questioning. I have been confused. There are days, more lately, where I find myself trying to reconcile God’s will with my own. I feel like I can’t find that balance. There is this nagging fear that I am failing, going nowhere, no matter how hard I try. There have been too many days where I forgot what it feels like, to feel good. Sometimes it feels like pushing on the ocean. Buts its just running against the wind, and I am not failing. And, I am not forsaken.

I haven’t written much lately. I haven’t found my voice again. At least until now. But this has taken me weeks to write. I have been in a bit of a fog, feeling weak, feeling like I have been knocked down and I am still coming to my senses. I feel incredibly mortal, fragile. And, that will pass. But nothing comes easy. There is a cost to everything.

We all struggle. If you look around and think about it, every person you know has struggles. That’s life. We all get knocked down. We all deal with difficult times. We are all still running against the wind. At least now that we’re older, we know we are stronger together. And, we are stronger through God’s grace.

Still, I am struggling.

Sunday, March 4th, 2019

Last night I picked up Steve and Susan from DFW airport. We hit it off before we got out of the terminal area. I am very glad too, because it was a 2 hour trip down just southwest of Waco. They live in McGregor, TX.
I actually took them to the municipal airport where they have a hangar that keeps their 1961 Beechcraft Bonanza. Their car happened to be there as well.

Steve and I swapped flying stories. I have a little flight time in the same make and model as his Bonzana. Stock photo below.

1961 Beechcraft Bonanza

They haven’t lived in Texas very long; less than a year. I asked Steve what brought him to Texas and he answered, Chip and Joanna Gaines. Seriously? I asked. Apparently, they watched the show Fixer Upper and decided Waco seemed like a nice place to live. It definitely has a lower cost of living than their previous home of 30 years, in Seattle.

Originally, they planned a retirement in the Caribbean, spending all their time on a catamaran. But their son was diagnosed with cancer. He is good now. But they say the next 5 years are the greatest risk of it returning. Steve and Susan decided to stay landside in case their son needed help. He lives in Houston.

So they came down and met the Gaineses. Joanna helped them find a house in McGregor. Their house in a Seattle suburb sold for $450 per square foot. Their new home in Texas cost $97 per sq. foot. They doubled the size for less money. Susan said they love being here and wish they had come to Texas 20 years ago.

As we continued to talk about aviation we started getting into the history of both our families. It turns out, Steve’s dad flew F4U-4 Corsairs in WWII. He was based in Guadalcanal, Henderson Field for a bit as well as the carriers, Lexington and Enterprise. While it was a completely different ship and in the 1970’s my father was an air traffic controller on the nuclear version of the Enterprise, CVN65.
Besides the F4U-4 Corsair, Steve’s father also flew Wildcats and Bearcats off the deck of a carrier. My favorite aircraft of all time is the F4U corsair and it just happens to be Steve’s dad’s favorite as well. Especially since he flew them in combat, dogfighting Japanese Zeroes.

F4-U Corsair

Dropping Steve and Susan off at McGregor airport was a real treat. It has been a while since I have been on an airfield. I enjoyed following the taxi lane to his hanger. It definitely brought back some memories.

Dropping them off completed the longest trip thus far in my 2 and a 1/2 years of driving Uber and Lyft. I think it was 123 miles. We had such a great time talking along the way, they offered to take me to dinner in Waco at their favorite burger place called Freddy’s. I had to gracefully decline and get back up to DFW. But it sure was a nice gesture. Steve and Susan, you guys are true kindness Warriors. Correction, Kindness Aviators!

Talking about our experience flying brought back so many memories. Thinking back on those days, I was so confident, so ambitious. I didn’t play by anyone elses rules. I thought I could do anything. But I was always running. I was running to or from something. Heartache, depression, loneliness, who knows exactly. But when I flew, I was at peace. Up there with the deep blue sky and the lofty clouds, I had no fears. My demons were left on the ground below. Up there it was just me and God.

Now, here I am, ragged and worn, still trying to re-engage. Still trying to find that place of grace that seems lost. I am running on fumes with no end in sight. But, I am still running.

Bob Seger was in town Saturday at the Ford Center in Frisco. I think his song, Against the Wind represents it best.

I know I am not alone. We are all struggling. We all keep running against the wind. It’s what we do. Sometimes, it’s all we can do.

#kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #TheKindnessClub #StreetLights #Grace #drivingawaydepression #Peopleprofiles

StreetLights: From The Garage Friday June 26, 2020

From the garage…

Perfect weather as the sun sets here in Arlington, TX. Enjoying a relaxing evening. I do miss the road and the interesting stories from my riders. In the meantime, I have a few people to write about soon and there is this:

As I continue to sort through meaningful songs I always have a habit of going back to certain artists like Neil Young and Bob Dylan.

Neil Young wrote Helpless in 1969. This is one of those songs that really makes me delve deep into its meaning, or at least my interpretation of the song. I began to think of the helpless feeling one might have in isolation due to Covid19. In the song, Young refers to a town in North Ontario. It is pretty isolated up there. As one writer put it, when expressing his interpretation, “when you live in a town like that, you often feel helpless because you are. But there is beauty there like nowhere else. So when you are back to “civilization” you miss it.”

Perhaps it can be used as a feeling of despair that you cannot help, but there is still this image,

“Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,”

Isolation is tough. I got to see some familiar faces tonight that I have seen in months. It was brief but meaningful nonetheless. This song has always been a favorite of mine. I would play it when I felt alone, sitting in my little apartment.

Melancholia.

But here is the thing, the silver lining if you will.

Even in times of sadness, despair, helplessness, there is beauty and grace.

Check in on someone this weekend. Reach out. There are many forms of isolation and many who feel helpless don’t know how to reach out.

Anyway, it is Friday. Have a great weekend everyone!

Be love. Be kind. We are all connected.

Life is better with a soundtrack.

This version of Neil Young’s Helpless by Buffy Sainte-Marie is pow wow werful!

kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #TheKindnessClub #StreetLights #Grace #drivingawaydepression #lifeisbetterwithasoundtrack #weareallconnected

Driving Away Depression: Attitude Is Everything

Happy Friday, Kindness Warriors!

I was recently reminded that “attitude is everything.”

I don’t know about everything, but it is definitely an important element in all things.

You are more likely to accomplish your goals and overcome your obstacles if you tell yourself that you can. My mom, Gretchen and one of my closest friends, Michelle are firm believers in the power of positive affirmations. With all that we are facing in the world right now, many of us fall into lonely and dark holes of depression and anxiety. When we aren’t feeling anger, we are overwhelmed with sadness.

For those who may be feeling lost, broken, or in a fog all alone, I see you. I know that space you are in. I have been there many times. Reach out to me. My hand is right here. You are not alone. I know your pain.

Finding the right attitude can be so very difficult when all you want to do is escape all the negativity and go back to bed.

Well, it is time to take inventory and open up your tool box. If you are suffering or overwhelmed, or depressed, grab a pen and some paper(or whatever your equivalent is). Find a safe, clutter free space. By safe I mean a place that doesn’t create more stress or distraction. The dining room table is one of mine. So is the garage now that I have had time to organize it. #Covid19silverlining
Bed is NOT a safe space.

Get to that space, take a few calming deep breaths and start making an inventory list of positive things and people in your life. Nothing negative. List your peeps. This could include your pastor, your mom or even the cashier who always greets you with a smile down at Racetrac or 7-eleven. No matter how insignificant little details might be, if they are positive, put it in your inventory.

Some of my list includes my wife, Mindy, my kids, my mom, dad, weekly breakfast with my friend John, all my friends and also trees, cloudy skies, cool breezes, flying, driving, walking, church, etc. Your positive inventory should include people, places, things, but also actions.

Once you have a decent list (20-30 items), read it back to yourself, aloud. If you do this enough, and sometimes it takes two or three readings, one of those items will create a spark, a small glimmer in your dark hole.

Then the really hard part, get up and get out!
Put that list in your mental toolbox. Positive affirmations are also tools. So is therapy, medication, exercise, friendship, and one incredibly powerful tool called kindness. Being kind (as I know all your kindness Warriors are) is a way to recharge your batteries. Kindness creates a flame to light your way out. I find it wonderfully ironic that God made us to help heal ourselves by helping others.

Attitude.

Attitude will definitely help get you going. It will keep you in the game. It will create hope. Remember this, change all of your “have to’s” in your life like paying bill’s, going to work, mowing the yard, etc. to “get to’s.” I get to go to work. I get to make the car payment. I even get to clean up dog poop. I get to do these things because I have a house, a dog, a car. Many have nothing. Attitude – positive – can do – thankful – kind.

I missed #TBT yesterday so here is a little song about attitude from one of my favorite musicians, Eric Clapton.

It’s In The Way You Use It.

This weekend I hope you find the right attitude to spread some kindness and positive vibes! You will make others happy and you will find joy in it too.

We are all connected.

Life is better with a soundtrack.

Be love. Be kind.

#kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #TheKindnessClub #StreetLights #Grace #drivingawaydepression #lifeisbetterwithasoundtrack #weareallconnected

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StreetLights On A Saturday Night

Lost in the woods

I took a walk today. The sun was out. Blue sky, pillowy clouds and blossoms on the trees. I love trees. I always find them calming and restorative, like natural anti-anxiety medicine.

It was during this walk I found the right perspective again. I have been angry this week. I have been anxious. I have been frustrated with the world. I have been caught up in the injustices of the world. My friend Tom and I will sometimes go round and round arguing about politics and religion. We had a contentious debate this week. And, I see many others frustrated as well. It can be tough to find peace of mind.


But those trees and the warm breeze, and the pillowy clouds, it all reminded me that this life is a blessing. I am reminded that I “get to” argue with my friend and I get to take that walk, and I get to write this post, and I get feel love, joy, and happiness. Consider all the things you have to do. Everything. Then simply change the words “have to” to “get to.”

Oh, I know we are not done fighting. All of us, not just me and Tom. 😉 We have fierce convictions and ideas about life. But we are all connected. We all share the same blood. So don’t forget to make peace too.

It is all too easy to get lost in the woods at times of anger or sorrow, or lonliness, or exhaustion, or good old high anxiety. I met a man today who gave up all his social media accounts because it was actually affecting his marriage and his relationship with his kids. He said it was the best he felt in months.

Our world is so much more connected now. Everything is instant, including access. My children are growing up in a world where social media and constant content are overwhelming. I have heard ignorance is bliss. That applies very well to social media. And kids today get pulled into that digital world of instant everything. We have more people, especially young people with anxiety and depression than ever before.

From time to time, finding a way to disconnect is essential for your mental health. Same for your kids. Especially for the young ones. They can’t figure out who they are if they are too overwhelmed with anxiety about what other people think and say about them, on social media.

During this Lent season, try to disconnect. Get your kids to disconnect. Reconnect with each other. Reconnect with God and remember how the burdens of life are still blessings, because we “get to” live.

And when you feel lost in the woods, here is a good reminder,

Trees.

“Getting lost in the woods” is a phrase often associated with dark or troubled times in life.

If you are lost in the woods, take a moment. Take a deep long breath. Then look around you. The trees that surround you are not your enemy or your obstacle.

Look close and you will see, God has put those trees around you. They are there to protect you, to give you sustenance. They help form and define your path. Those trees are life giving and life saving. They offer you love and joy. Those trees are your friends and family, and safe spaces.

If you ever feel lost in the woods, take a breath, look around and know, you are not alone! Trust me, I’m an Oak…

Now, for your Saturday night groove and a little message within lyrics, checkout Coldplay’s Arabesque.

“I could be you, you could be me
Two raindrops in the same sea
You could be me, I could be you
Two angles of the same view
And we share the same blood

Comme deux gouttes d’eau
On se ressemble
Comme provenant de la même mère
Comme deux ruisseaux (You could be me)
Qui se rassemblent (I could be you)
Pour faire les grandes rivières


And we share the same blood
Yeah, we share the same bloodAnd we share the same blood
Yeah, we share the same blood

Music is the weapon, music is the weapon of the future
Music is the weapon, music is the weapon of the future
Music is the weapon, music is the weapon of the future.”



#kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #TheKindnessClub #StreetLights #Grace #drivingawaydepression

March 4, 2018 Hope at Broadway

Today is Sunday. Today is a day to be peaceful, to be joyful, to be loving, and to be hopeful. Today, reach out to God.

And, as always, be kind.

If you need a safe space, a place to connect with God, a place where your thoughts, and your beliefs are welcome, then come to Broadway Baptist Church.

It will change your life!

Broadway Baptist Church “There’s more than one way to be a Baptist!”

Thank you Mindy for sharing this song.

#Kindess #purposefulkindness #WhataWonderfulWorld

March 3, 2018

#Drivingawaydepression

Sometimes you get knocked down. No matter what you do, things beyond your control can take you down. Last weekend I was knocked down with a medical issue that had me in the hospital for 3 days. I am ok, but have. Had a lingering effect that has limited my physical activity and even kept me from driving some.

Depression doesn’t reveal itself in sorrow. It would not reveal itself at low times. Why would it need to. I was already right where it wanted me to be. No, it was in the halcyonic moments that depression found me. Even now, now that I am aware of it, now that I can control it, it still attempts to damage my calm.

A great way to control depression is to keep moving. That nasty shadow then has to chase you. Spending time in a hospital bed or even my own bed is tough. It means the shadow can catch up and start meddling again.

This is also tough because my health issues are affecting other people. It becomes harder and more stressful for Mindy. Plus at times when I can’t drive, it leaves us in a tough spot financially. It becomes difficult not to take things personally and feel like a burden. I know I am not a burden. But, the situation is still stressful.

I try not to ask for prayers for myself, with so many people out there who are struggling, so many people starving or living in war or terror. But, I sure could use some prayers. Really, not for me so much as for Mindy and the kids. I am working to overcome this recent setback and will hopefully be back to full health soon.

I firmly believe in prayer. I firmly believe God has my back. So, I am telling that shadow to shove it! This too will pass. I am back on the road tonight. I hope to have a productive evening and meet some wonderful people.

Much love to all.

Christopher

I just love the calming warm effect of this song.

“When our hands hurt from healing…”

December 14, 2017

A friend and fellow music lyrics explorer recently reminded how powerful this song is. It has long been one of my favorites and I use it for reflection. Reflection is important when trying to figure out how to move forward. What I have learned is, reflection is nowhere near as important as living for today. If you don’t, you won’t be open to God’s plan for you and the true beauty in your life.

I have been blessed with four incredible children. Jake, Katie, Leia, and Ben. I hope I can instill that lesson into their lives and make sure they know one other little bit of wisdom:

When you are confused or in a dark place, music is a powerful beacon of light. God will help you through. And if you ever get lost, call your old man. I will bring you home.

Today is day 9 of recovery for me and today is a good day. Make it count!

December 27, 2018

This post was originally written in December, 2018. I began sharing my journey through depression and recovery that month. many of my posts were not only to share but my story, but they served as a type of therapy for me.

Good morning on this Wednesday. I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Had a few Christmas miracles myself.

New lesson learned on this 22nd day of recovery from Depression. It’s easy to become focused on restoring yourself to a happier, more whole person you used to be. That is a false path.

The true path forward means leaving behind your old self. The true path forward means learning to live with who you are and finding contentment in the here and now. It means acknowledging those parts of you that echo sadness and finding ways to keep those echos from becoming the dominant forces in your head, knowing they will always be there. But just echos…

If you ever feel overwelmed with sadness and fatigue, you are not alone. There are people who can help you through the fog. I can. God can. Together we can keep moving toward the light until that overwelming, paralyzing force is just an echo.

May all of you have a great day and remember to be kind.

This song has been a steadfast companion throughout my journey.