Again, we need more kindness and love. Too much hate. The pressure becomes to great. And then, it is just too late.
The darkest place in the universe is deep inside one’s own troubled soul.
For all my bipolar and depressive brothers and sisters. Written in October 2018 with love for those we lost. I needed a firmer grasp on my own sense of purpose and value before posting.
Streaming streaming here I go.
Head on pillow. Heart beats flow.
Streaming streaming getting faster now.
So many voices. So many faces.
So many directions. So many races.
I can keep up
I can hold on.
I just need to make the dawn.
Da da da…. Hill street Blues. What the hell?
Strange and intriguing like a distant bell.
They killed her.
I read the news today, oh boy.
She just couldn’t hold the joy.
In darkness.
Hung herself next to Mr. Clean
She just couldn’t escape the dream.
She was smart you know. She helped others heal. She helped others grow.
Woman Unleashed.
She wrote a book.
She helped little girls. She helped them find the power, someone else took.
She helped the pooches too. She wrote. She shrank. She soared, But she too got too blue.
Streaming flowing flying now. Is this how Robin felt? Is this what he knew? That its all way too fast. It’s too hard to keep up.
It’s so hard to hold on. Too hard to fill his cup.
And like poor Stacey, he fell off. He just gave up.
Faster and faster and faster we go. Money stress. Job stress. Where did the peace and joy go?
Hill street blues. What the hell? This earworm!
Ball of confusion. Big beautiful ball.
The winners and fast ones, they’ve destroyed it all. Piece by piece it all falls away in the acceleration of our daily fray.
Hill street blues? Why?
Streaming streaming head to pillow. I hear the beat. What is that? The neighbor? No its my heart and my mind. It just wont slow down.
Thoughts now, flying right by. Which one was it? Which one do I decry.
Think now. Think now. Life. Love. Yes, love! Struggle! People! That car! Yes, my car! My office. My space. My realm. My world. The people! Oh yes, the people. Who was it today? Luke, Frank, Michelle, or Steven. What the hell rhymes with Steven?
It doesn’t matter. They all showed up. And they brought my saving grace.
Through each, each of those strange angels, He told me.
Kindness is it. Kindness saves. Could it have saved Anthony? Could it have saved Kate? Or Robin, or Stacey? Will it save me? Its always kindness. Kindness breaks the waves.
Kindness kills the bug. Kindness slows the pace. Why do we hate? We are all in this human race?
Slowing down now. Fatigue setting in.
Shutting it down now. Pulling the pin. Took the pill. Beginning to chill.
What now head? What now heart?
Accept the grace and do my part.
But tomorrow.
Did I get that right?
Is this who I am?
Is this why I still drive?
Is this a blessing or a blight?
Or merely Streetlights on a Saturday night?
Sleep setting in. Finally peace. Manic no more.
Hiil street blues.
Ohhhhh.
Its cold and lonely in the dark.
“Lets all be safe out there.”
And all do our part…
To be kind.
Depression and bipolar disorder aren’t just states of mind. But they certainly screw with it. Suicide takes 45,000 people a year in the US. It doesn’t have to.
Each of us can save lives by simple acts of kindness, by reaching out, by acting on a concern or gut feeling. By accepting each other with love. In the darkness, in the fog, many don’t know how to call for help.
We ALL need to do better by each other.
We are all connected.
Peace be with you, my brothers and sisters.
As I began my journey to clarity and light, one song became, and remains my mantra.
Thanks be to God.
#kindness #purposefulkindness #hope #peace #love #joy #StreetLights #TheKindnessClub #Grace #drivingawaydepression #Peopleprofiles #weareallconnected #Whatawonderfulworld
Stacey Radin was a clinical psychologist in New York who battled depression and lost that battle last October.
Anthony Bourdain was a chef, food critic, social activist, author, and travel documentarian who starred in programs focusing on the exploration of international culture, cuisine, and the human condition.
Kate Spade (Katherine Noel Valentine Brosnahan) was an American fashion designer and businesswoman. She was the founder and former co-owner of the designer brand Kate Spade New York.
Andy Spade released this statement shorlty after his wife, Kate’s death, “Kate suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. She was actively seeking help and working closely with doctors to treat her disease, one that takes far too many lives. We were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy. There was no indication and no warning that she would do this. It was a complete shock. And it clearly wasn’t her. There were personal demons she was battling.”
Robin Williams was a comedian, actor, and all around great guy who struggled with depression and anxiety.
Widow of Robin Williams places his suicide in context
Publish date: October 11, 2016
By Dr. Dinah Miller
“When actor Robin Williams died of suicide in August 2014, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline saw a surge in callers. The loss of a brilliant, energetic, public figure left everyone reeling, myself included. Williams was known to have difficulties with alcohol and depression, but despite his problems, he was everyone’s definition of success, and he certainly had access to the best of care. Stigma? I’m going to guess that in the California entertainment industry there’s no shame to seeing a psychiatrist.
Soon after his death, it was made public that Robin Williams suffered from Parkinson’s disease, then later that was revised – he had Lewy body dementia.
On Sept. 27, his widow, Susan Schneider Williams, published an article called “The terrorist inside my husband’s brain” in the journal Neurology.
Mrs. Williams writes about the joy of their relationship, and she notes that many months before he died, her husband was under the care of doctors for a multitude of symptoms, including gastrointestinal problems, insomnia, and a tremor. His symptoms worsened, and he became plagued by anxiety and panic, memory difficulties, and delusions with paranoia. She describes a change in his personality and a preoccupation with his anxiety, physical failings, and memory problems that interfered with his ability to memorize movie lines. Robin Williams was changing and declining. He was treated with both psychotherapy and psychotropic medications. He went to Stanford for hypnosis to treat his anxiety. He exercised with a physical trainer. In May, he received the Parkinson’s disease diagnosis, and while he was told that it was early and mild, his life was collapsing in on itself.
Category Archives: January 2020
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…
StreetLights On A Saturday Night original post January 29th, 2019. I am asking unanimous consent to revise and extend my remarks based on the experiences of the last year.
A few days after posting this last year, I had a heart attack. It was mild and I received two stents. However, last year’s health challenges didn’t end there. I ended up hospitalized 6 times last year for a variety of issues including the myocardial infarction, septicemia, other infections, a third stent, and neck surgery to finish out the year. I also continued to battle depression. All this to say the journey continues and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It’s cliche’ but true. Would it surprise you to know my faith in God, my connection to Jesus is even stronger?
This Sunday at Broadway Baptist Church, our Sr. Pastor, Ryon Price will be giving a sermon entitled, “What Are You Looking For?” As Pastor Ryon writes, “that is the title of the sermon but also the words Jesus asks to the first disciples to follow him. Oh, but the irony. The one who is asking the question is Himself its answer. He is what and who they are looking for, though they do not yet know it. All they know now is that they are looking for something, and they still haven’t found it, but they’ve been told by John to look the way of Jesus.
Sunday’s sermon will be about Jesus. It will be about our search and our longing for him. It will be about how, in Augustine’s words, “our hearts are restless until they find rest in [Him].”
I ask that you pray for Sunday. Somebody will surely show up looking for something, though they may know not what or who. Pray for me. Pray for them. Pray I can be like John the Baptist in the story and point them the way to the one who both has us asking and also is the answer.”
I would like to invite everyone to join us this Sunday at Broadway Baptist Church in Fort Worth. We are all on this journey together. Don’t worry about the Baptist part of Broadway Baptist Church. You don’t have to be Baptist to join us and find other seekers/searchers. Come get a spiritual recharge!
Now for the original post. Learning of this weekend’s (January 19, 2020 at 1050am) sermon reminded me of it…
A very significant milestone quietly passed by unnoticed over the weekend. When I realized it, I reviewed my recent trips to find out, Saturday night I gave Uber/Lyft ride number 5,000.
It turns out, that 5,000th ride was given to a woman name Lauren from Chicago. She has been living in Dallas for 6 months. She was just getting back from the frigid windy city. We talked about the differences between the two cities. We talked about Chicago style pizza. We talked about movies, careers, and we talked about a shared passion for music. Perfect strangers, but connected in this grand journey of life, of humanity.
We talked about kindness. We lamented the shortfall. And, we both pledged to keep making more.
This unexpected and awe inspiring path of 2 and a half years, 150,000 miles, and 5,000 rides has changed my outlook on life, on faith, profoundly. I am forever grateful. God has certainly continued to remind me of the importance of this path, and given me the grace to survive the struggles along the way.
Even with a profound sense of purpose, I wonder, I ache, I question. Even with this incredible sense of joy and peace, I hurt, I cry. Even with God’s steady hand, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.
But I now know, that is an eternal search. And, that is how it is supposed to be.
To question, to challenge, to become more enlightened, all throughout the universe. We will forever be connected. We must, therefore live our lives in purposeful kindness, and love.
Music has been a steadfast companion all my life. I am fond of saying life is better with a soundtrack. But, music is so much more. It tells our stories. It gives us perspective. It stirs the adventure and curiosity in us all.
Bruce Springsteen introduced U2 into the Rocknroll Hall of Fame in 2005. Two musical entities that have done just that; stir emotion, curiosity, and tell our story so well.
Bono, at one the 25th Anniversary Rock&Roll Hall Of Fame concerts, said this…
“I’m thinking here in Rock&Roll’s great cathedral, that is Madison Square Garden, thinking in this moment about all the pilgrims, all the pioneers that got us all here. The saints and the heretics, the poets and the punks, that now make up the hall of fame. Its a dangerous thing, this business of building idols. But at least Rock&Roll is not, at its best, about worshiping sacred cows. It’s about the thousands of voices gathered in one great unwashed congregation, like tonight. For alot of us here, Rock&Roll just means one word, liberation; political, sexual, spiritual. Liberation.”
To which Bruce Springsteen replied, “Let’s have some fun with that!”
And they began to sing together.
I like this quote because it isn’t just relevant to musicians. It is all of us. It’s life’s journey.
Plus, U2 and The Boss together is frickin awesome!
As I prepare for whatever God has planned next for me, this song reminds me that we are all searching. Perhaps, I’ll take a drive down Thunder Road, and see what lies ahead.
Where will you go? What will you look for?
Will you be kind along your journey?
I hope so.
#kindness #purposefulkindness #Whatawonderfulworld #hope #peace #love #joy #StreetLights #TheKindnessClub #Grace
#TBT January 16, 2020
#TBT January 16, 2020
It’s floodin’ down in Texas.
I wish I could send this water to Australia. Truly, I do.
As I headed down to the Mitsubishi dealership bright and early this morning (Still trying to make sure everything is roadworthy as I resume my driving today), Bob Dylan popped up in my Spotify playlist. Believe it or not, as I sloshed through the high waters on Bowen road in Arlington, the song High Water came on.
As I listened intently for some further mystic message, because I was really paying attention now, I heard ol’ Bob make reference to Kansas City, 12th and Vine. Hmmm, that sounded familiar.
Sure enough, that corner was made famous from that song about goin’ to Kansas City.
“I’m gonna be standing on the corner
12th Street and Vine
With my Kansas City b?aby
And a bottle of Kansas City wine.”
Ok, that song, ‘Kansas City’ was written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller two 19-year-old students in Los Angeles who had never been to Kansas City. So, maybe that isn’t the message I was looking for. Back to Dylan’s High Water. Dylan wrote this song as an ode to Charley Patton.
Ok, now we are getting somewhere!
So who was Charley Patton and what might he be echoing to us today?
“Charley Patton was arguably the most influential pioneer of the Delta Blues genre. Charley was born in the late 1800s. One site says 1891 but there is no official birth record. Charley Patton has been called the Founder of the Delta Blues. He was born between Bolton and Edwards, Mississippi. Patton was of mixed black, white and native American ancestry. In the early 1900s his family moved to the Dockery plantation. Patton’s travels took him from Louisiana to New York, but he spent most of his time moving from plantation to plantation, entertaining fieldhands at jukehouse dances and country stores. The emotional sway he held over his audiences caused him to be tossed off of more than one plantation, because workers would leave crops unattended to listen to him play.”Although Patton was roughly five feet, five inches tall and only weighed 135 pounds, his gravelly, high-energy singing style made him sound like a man twice his size. An accomplished and inventive guitarist and lyricist, he was a flamboyant showman as well, spinning his guitar, playing it behind his head and slapping it for rhythmic effect.
He also preached in local churches, played for the deacons of New Jerusalem M.B. Church here and recorded religious songs, folk ballads, dance tunes, and pop songs.“High Water Everywhere,” a dramatic two-part account of the death and despair wrought by the great 1927 flood, is often regarded as his masterpiece.
His songs offered social commentary and provided propulsive music for dancing. Patton sometimes employed multiple spoken voices to create his own cast of characters. While he was an inspiration to many musicians, including Howlin’ Wolf, Robert Johnson, Tommy Johnson, Willie Brown, Roebuck “Pops” Staples, Bukka White, Honeyboy Edwards, and even Bob Dylan, the individualistic quality of his singing and playing was so inimitable that relatively few blues artists ever attempted to record Patton songs. Patton’s last wife, Bertha Lee, lived with him in Holly Ridge and recorded with him at his final session in New York for Vocalion Records in 1934. Patton died of mitral valve disorder at the age of 43.When he died, he was buried in an unmarked grave. John Fogerty later had a memorial erected to correct the slight.
So here is today’s message, brought to you by Charley Patton…
And who better to deliver the message we need to hear than a man of God, of mixed race, and a man who sings the blues. We are on the precipice. No need to worry about falling because the flood is rising to us. The one thing I know about the blues is this, it is all about what ain’t right in the world and it is usually followed by change, big change. That flood is coming. Here is what each of us must contemplate on this rainy day:
When the flood comes and changes everything, will you adapt and change with it? Or will you cling to the ledge of old, tired idealogy that continues to split us all apart. It is time everyone started realizing,
WE ARE ALL CONNECTED!
The flood is coming, but it doesn’t mean the end. It means it is time to change the way we think about and treat each other. It is time for compassionate and kind leadership. It is high time for us to not just speak of loving each other, but show that love in our actions, in our daily living, in our religion, in our social media posts, in our language, in our laws, in our choices, our policies, our faith, and in our hearts.
If we heed the message, if we join together as God would have us do, the flood will carry us to that brighter day, together. If we stand apart on the precipice, we will just be washed away.
It’s raining.
The blues are playing.
Kindness is the key.
For more information about Charlie Patton, or the Bob Dylan song that I referenced, below are some links you might enjoy.
StreetLights 